The Journey

Nights always made me feel alive. Calling me a creature. of the night will not be too far off the mark. As the city embraces its nightly mistress, I lie awake, staring at the twinkling orbs of gas, far up in the sky. It fascinates me, those patterns on the vast expanse of space that extends over and beyond the reach of one’s eyes. They are my fellow travellers, my companions on lonely nights and my guide on the days I wish to travel. 

I remember reading about constellations as a child. Those days I used to feel guilty about not being able to identify any, other than the Orion's belt, but as years progressed, I realised my joy in the stars did not decline one bit for not being able to recognise the constellations. Just laying on soft dewy grass, gazing at the stars, time would cease to exist, yet pass by so fast.

That's the beauty of distancing oneself from all things ‘in’, you know, for contradictory to common belief, one does not fade into non entity if they steer clear of social media for an hour or more. The world does not stop, not even for a brief moment.

I found myself drawn more to nature as I let go of those norms which bound me to these toxic habits. The more I understood patterns of nature, the more I felt being in sync with it, and somehow I fell more in sync with my inner light along the way.

Since my childhood I had lived in confined spaces. From one box like apartment to the other I moved, only the sizes varying. I lived thus for three decades, never realising for even a single moment that those apartments that I called home were in fact cages.

Maybe I didn't realise it then because I had not tasted freedom yet. I was content with my lot. A small cosy family, in a comfortable home, it was a dream come true. I never sought any more than that, maybe because all of it meant something then. With time though a sense of disquiet set in my heart. The walls seemed to shrink in on me. The relations, though dear, seemed to pull me deep into a never ending darkness. 

I don’t remember the exact moment when I let that darkness engulf me in its velvety wraps. I have no recollection of events of that time. It was as if my body lived as my soul lay comatose. Nonetheless, as is the nature of the universe, with darkness came light.

For me it was a revelation that I too could dream a dream and set my hopes on it. For the first time I had something that was entirely my own. Like from a glowing ember, this passion for art set my sleeping soul on fire. Suddenly I was more aware of everything around me. It is this fire that helped me burn away my shackles and set me on this path to unknown lands and skies.

 As I lay now under the midnight blue sky, cold breeze drifting by, caressing my brows, I sensed all the pain of my past seeping away. Had I not ended the long wait and stepped out of my cocoon. Where would this journey take me I cannot say, but of one thing I was sure. It was to be a journey like no other.